| |
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
| Contact Editor |
|
 |
| Add:No.2 Dong |
| Chang'an |
| Avenue,Beijing |
| China (100731) |
| Tel:(010)87519094 |
| Fax:(010)87519093 |
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
三国演义两个翻译版本的比较——节选三 |
|
| 2008-06-05 14:19 商务部外事司 |
4.2.4 翻译的修改和增补
在对典故相关的翻译中分析过，布版有时会省略文化相关的信息，但是在很多时候，布版也会添加不少信息。之前在对诗歌和礼貌用语的分析中可以看出来布版的翻译灵活度更大，译者在处理原文时可能会根据自己对上下文的理解进行增添或者修改。在小说的其它部分也是如此，罗版相当忠实于原文，几乎没有任意增删修改之处，而布版则比较灵活，译者会在细节之处根据自己的理解作一些调整。下面是几个具体的例子。
修改
（1） ...叙礼毕，瑜请玄德上坐。玄德曰：“将军名传天下，备不才，何烦将军重礼？”乃分宾主而坐。
R: Salutations exchanged, Zhou Yu saw Xuande to the seat of honor. "General," Xuande protested, "you are renowned throughout the empire. I am a man of no talent. Do not trouble so much over ceremony." They partook of a banquet as host and guest.
B: After the salutations, Chou Yu wished Liu Pei to take the upper seat, but he declined saying, "General, you are famous throughout all the empire, while I am a nobody. Do not overwhelm me with too great deference."
So they took the positions of simple friends...
（2） 操闻凤雏先生来，亲自出帐迎入，分宾主坐定，问曰...
R: Cao Cao, hearing of Master Young Phoenix's arrival, came out of his tent to escort him in personally. When they had seated themselves as host and guest, Cao Cao said...
B: When Ts’ao Ts’ao heard that the newcomer was Feng-ch’u or the “Phoenix Chick” Master, Ts’ao Ts’ao went to meet him personally, made him very welcome, and soon they sat down to talk on friendly terms.
这两句都涉及到了座位的排列。例1中提到“上座”、“分宾主而坐”，例2中再次提到了“分宾主而坐”，这里涉及到的都是和中国的礼仪习惯相关的表述方式，罗版的翻译就努力传递原文的意思，分别译成了“the seat of honor”和“as host and guest”，而布版的译文则稍作改动，分别译成“upper seat”和“the positions of simple friends”，甚至在第二句中干脆忽略了座位的排序，直接翻译成了“sat down to talk on friendly terms”。布版如此处理，很明显是考虑到西方社会在座位上没有中国人的种种讲究，所以在译文中稍作变通，以免读者看了不解。
（3） 孔明致玄德之意毕，偷眼看孙权：碧眼紫髯，堂堂一表。
R: Lu Su watched as Kongming conveyed Liu Xuande's good wishes. Kongming stole a glance at Sun Quan. Jade green eyes and purplish beard--an imposing presence.
B: As K'ung-ming spoke of Yuan-te's intentions, he glanced up at his host. He noted the grey eyes and brown beard and the dignified commanding air of the man.
这一句原文本来描述孙权“碧眼紫髯”，罗版也翻译成了“Jade green eyes and purplish beard”，而布版却做了很有意思的改动，翻译成了“grey eyes and brown beard”。孙权当然不会是绿眼睛紫胡子，不过中国古代人认为伟人必定生有异相，所以小说中在描写大人物时总是会添油加醋的说明此人长得不同凡响。罗版考虑到这属于文化因素，所以很准确的翻译成了“jade”和“purplish”，当然考虑到西方读者的接受能力还是降低了夸张的程度，用了“purplish”——浅紫色。布版却换成了更加普通的颜色“grey”和“brown”，就更是考虑到了西方读者的文化习惯。根据西方文化，伟人通常都是英俊潇洒的，生有异相的只能当圣母院的敲钟人。如果西方读者看到中国的孙权有绿色的眼睛那倒也罢了，顶多以为孙权有西方血统，可是如果再看到他是紫胡子，恐怕就会怀疑他是妖怪了。所以布版对原文做出了如此的改动。
（4） 我今被辱，羞见江左诸人！
R: I have been humiliated, disgraced before the notables of the south.
B: Everyone is talking of the way I was insulted. Aiya!
“羞见江左诸人”这一句，罗版译成了“disgraced before the notables of the south”——在江左诸人面前受辱，基本传递原文意思。而布版则做了较大改动，将“羞见江左诸人”变成了“Everyone is talking of the way I was insulted”——大家都在谈论我受辱之事，明显是译者根据推测进行的补充，而且译文还加上了表示愤怒的感叹词“Aiya!”，让人如闻其声。
（5） 赵云拈弓搭箭，立于船尾大叫曰：“吾乃常山赵子龙也！”
R: As he pulled nearer, Zhao Zilong drew his bow and rose from the stern. "I am Zhao Zilong of Changshan," he cried…
B: Then when he got too close, Chao Yun fitted an arrow to the bowstring and, standing up in the stern of his boat, cried, "You know who I am... "
赵子龙交战前照例的自报姓名，罗版按原文译出；而布版改成了“You know who I am”——你知道我是谁。Brewitt-Taylor可能从“吾乃常山赵子龙也！”这一句中看出了威胁的意味，所以作此改动。
（6） 操在中军遥望隔江，看看月上，照耀江水，如万道金蛇，翻波戏浪。
R: Cao Cao scanned the river and watched the rising moon. Its reflections flickered over the waters, turning the river into myriad golden serpents rolling and sporting in the waves.
B: Ts’ao Ts’ao in the midst of the central squadron eagerly scanned the river which rolled down under the bright moon like a silver serpent writhing in innumerable folds.
原文中用的是“如万道金蛇”，罗版依旧照直译成“myriad golden serpents”；而布版的译文则变成了“silver serpent”——银蛇，看来Brewitt-Taylor大概认为月光不会是金色只可能是银色，所以擅自作此修改。
增补：
（7） 今正欲仗将军保全国家，为泰山之靠，奈何亦从懦夫之议耶？
R: What will befall us if you follow the counsel of cowards now, at the very moment we must rely on you--as if you were the great Mount Tai itself--to preserve the house of Sun?
B: …and we depended upon you to keep the country as secure and solid as Mount T’ai. Now you adopt the view of the weaklings and propose to yield! I cannot believe you mean it.
布版中增加了“I cannot believe you mean it”这样一句，点明了鲁肃对于周瑜称降的讶异之情，原文中没有却合情合理，亦不为过。
（8） 众将见杀了张、蔡二人，入问其故。操虽心知中计，却不肯认错，乃谓众将曰：“二人怠慢军法，吾故斩之。”众皆嗟呀不已。
R: Cao Cao's commanders wanted to know the reason for the executions. But Cao Cao was unable to admit his mistakes. "They flouted military rules; therefore, I had them killed," he said. The stunned commanders groaned and sighed.
B: The death of these two naval commanders caused much consternation in the camp, and all their colleagues asked the reason for their sudden execution. Though Ts’ao Ts’ao knew they had been victimized, he would not acknowledge it. So he said the two men had been remiss, and so had been put to death." The others were aghast, but nothing could be done.
布版增加了两个细节，“caused much consternation in the camp”和“but nothing could be done”。这也只能解释为译者根据自己对原文理解进行的增补。
（9） 且说周瑜正理会进兵之事，忽报江北有船来到江口，称是蔡瑁之弟蔡和、蔡中，特来投降。瑜唤入。二人哭拜曰：“吾兄无罪，被操贼所杀。吾二人欲报兄仇，特来投降。望赐收录，愿为前部。”瑜大喜，重赏二人，即命与甘宁引军为前部。
R: Delighted, Zhou Yu awarded them handsomely and ordered him a taste of his own medicine by giving them to join Gan Ning in the vanguard.
B: Chou Yu appeared very pleased and made them presents. Then he ordered them to join Kan Ning in leading the van.
布版中加上了“appeared”一词，说明周瑜是在演戏，原文虽没有却也合理。
（10） 大张筵席，奏军中得胜之乐，轮换行酒。瑜告众官曰…
R: A great feast was spread and victory music performed. Wine came too, round after round. Zhou Yu addressed the assembly…
B: Presently a banquet was spread, and while they feasted, the musicians played songs of victory and the wine circulated merrily. Under the mellowing influence, Chou Yu's reserve seemed to thaw and he said…
布版添加了细节描写“Under the mellowing influence, Zhou Yu's reserve seemed to thaw”，虽原文没有，却使故事更加生动，让人如临其境，如见其人。
（11） 其人以密书呈上。操观之，颜色颇喜。
R: The man presented a secret missive, which seemed to give Cao great satisfaction.
B: Whereupon the man pulled out and gave him a letter, which evidently pleased him.
布版加上了具体的动作描写，“pulled out”，使文章更具画面感。
（12） 瑜骇然曰...
R: In consternation Zhou Yu said...
B: Chou Yu was, however, frightened at the power of the man whose help he had invoked.
He said…
（13） 急唤帐前护军校尉丁奉、徐盛二将：“…”
R: Zhou Yu immediately called two military commanders, Ding Feng and Xu Sheng, into his presence and told them, “…”
B: So he resolved to commit a crime to remove his dangerous rival.
He called two of the captains of his guard, Ting Feng and Hsu Sheng, and…
（14） 周瑜大惊曰：…
R: The astonished Zhou Yu cried in despair, “...”
B: Chou Yu was indeed puzzled at the depth of his rival's insight. "..." he said.
例12中布版具体解释了周瑜“骇然”的原因，例13中阐明了“急唤”的目的，例14中说明了“大惊”的对象，都是对原文的补充，使译文行文更流畅，前后呼应，便于读者理解。
（15） 众谋士皆默然自惭。
R: His advisers remained quiet, shamed.
B: The reproach shamed the advisers.
这句话的前文是曹操逃脱华容之难后，忽然仰天大恸，哭道若郭奉孝在则不会有此大失。正如毛评写道：“哭郭嘉之哭，所以愧众谋士也”、“后之哭胜打”、“不谓奸雄眼泪，即可译作钱帛用，又可作梃杖用”所以才会“众谋士皆默然自惭。”布版的译文中就加上了“The reproach”，直接点出了曹操哭的含义，也是出于帮助读者理解的目的。
在这些例子当中，罗版全部是忠实的按原文进行翻译，而布版则非常灵活，根据译者自己的理解及上下文的信息有不少增添之处。
这种翻译风格的区别仍然是由交际目的区别带来的。正如之前反复强调的，布版翻译的目的侧重于讲一个精彩的故事，所以在讲故事的技巧方面格外注意。译者会常常添油加醋，让故事听上去更连贯更合理。而罗版则是要将一个原汁原味的三国介绍给广大西方读者，至于对文章的理解，就由读者见仁见智。所以罗版的修改和增补相对少很多。
第一部分 第二部分
（全文终）
外事司翻译处 朱玉屏 |
|
All articles marked with "Article type: Original" posted on the website of the Ministry of Commerce and its sub-sites are copyrighted by this Website and its sub-sites. Any reproduction or use by any other websites, media or individuals must be attached with a clear indication of "Source: Ministry of Commerce Website".
All articles posted on this website or its sub-sites marked with "Article type: reproduced" or "Article type: translated" and "Article type: redistributed" come from other media, and are provided solely for the user's information, which does not mean this Website or its sub-sites endorse the ideas thereof or assume any legal liability or responsibility for their authenticity. Any other media, websites or individuals must maintain the source of information indication on this Website or its sub-sites when using the information, and shall assume legal liability for the use.
|
